Here We GO !!!!!!!!
The day that I had been anticipating for a few months had finally arrived. Monday, The first day of my final working week in the U.K. Now as it happens the whole week went by and sure there was plenty of well wishes and handshakes but as I left work for the final time I had that anticlimax feeling. I have only been with the company two and a half years so I wasn’t expecting a gold watch or nothing, .however, perhaps it was me but things seemed a little too underwhelming. That feeling only lasted but a few moments before a little wry smile took over
It`s Sunday ….. MY very LAST Sunday in the UK .. HEHEHE.. I HAVE STARTED TO PACK… I now am in full on excited mode . It`s actually finally happening . It`s like the whole ambiance has changed . It feels mighty good too. There is nothing in my week ahead that is going to be remotely taxing or stressful apart from seeing my girls for the last time but that aside I AM READY . I can honestly say I have no fear, apprehension,reluctance or any other negativity about doing this. Is this wrong ? Should I be feeling something other than happiness and positivity for the future ? I don`t know. My way of thinking is that if I wasn’t feeling how I am now, 100% sure this is the right thing for me, Then I probably shouldn’t do it but as it is I welcome my future with hooting horns ,flags, lots of whooping it up and of course open arms.
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Well I have to say where did this week go? Don’t get me wrong. Considering when I look back at how slow time has seemed to pass leading up to this point , especially May, I am certainly not complaining. It has been a pretty easy week all round if I`m honest. Work has been nice and steady and my work colleagues seem to be, Oh I don`t know, anticipating my departure from the work place fold as it were. The few months leading up to now I found a little tedious due to the fact the same people were asking the same questions day in day out. Questions like, how long now ? What date ya going ? Are you nervous ? And so on . It`s changed now , and I have to say It`s quite heartwarming when I hear .. Only one more week Lanky .. Gunna be sorry to see you leave .. I wish I was you .. Comments like those make up for all those that I got fed up of hearing.. With my final working week ahead of me I can already sense a tinge of sadness brewing inside. As jobs go I`ve come to realize with my current job, A Job isn’t just a Job. I have enjoyed the last two and a half years that I`ve been employed in my current job. Yes it`s had its moments and the pay was never enough but the people I`ve worked with and a few of the customers I deliver to and have gotten to know really well I shall miss and hold a certain fondness for ..
Two more Fridays and I take flight, however its to Friday next and the preceding week that await me . Trying to anticipate how it will go is probably not a good idea I think. Instead I shall try to appreciate it for what it will be, Enjoying the well wishes, answering the questions , shaking a few hands , getting a few hugs, and then finally departing on Friday with nothing but fond memories of a good job and the good people I have been fortunate to meet and befriend .
Oh one thing tho I wont have to do, as I did today, is sweat as I sit in the nurses office watching her draw my final MMR booster vaccine from it`s vile into the syringe via a 3 inch needle. I KID NOT .. I couldn’t resist pointing out, more from fear I might add , that the last injection was with a smaller needle. The nurse started to laugh saying don’t be silly this one is only to draw it into syringe, I will replace it with a smaller one for the injection. Trust me I was thank full for being silly.
Previously On Lanky Goes Forth !
With the start of the Penultimate week of my working life in England being Just hours away , And being it`s Fathers day my thoughts are dominated to the most painful part of this path I now walk .
Knowing I am going to have to say goodbye to my two beautiful daughters, Jane and Mary , was never going to be easy for any of us but especially for them. Jane is 9 yrs and Mary 15 yrs age and they both live with their mother, Samantha, who I was married to for nearly 13 years ending some 5 yrs ago with a divorce , a very bitter divorce .
For Samantha that bitterness has remained with her to this day and it would be very fair of me to say bitterness has festered into nastiness on her part. Now even though all that nastiness is aimed in my direction, and delivered with some venom, what Samantha is totally oblivious to is that it`s Jane and Mary who are being hurt by her almost lust for the need to hurt me . Samantha doesn’t even recognize the fact that I `ve become immune to her venom, I feel , I now know the real Samantha better than she really knows herself , .
Jane and Mary have a given ” Right” to be shielded from 100 % of all the crap that they have ,unashamedly, for Samantha , been exposed to . No child should have to hear any adult let alone their mother shout ” You’re a Crap Father” ” “I hate you The Kids hate you” before slamming the phone down for any reason what so ever. What caused her to do that by the way was the fact that I called to inform her I would be 15 minutes late in picking them up for their weekend stay with me which happened or was supposed to happen every other weekend ,. I`ll say at this point Samantha is not here to defend herself however I felt it right to give one example of her actions and I could give you a whole bunch more 5 yrs worth in fact but it`s only purpose here is for you to be able to have some understanding of events.
Even if things were as they should be with a divorced family this would still be painful but it has to be said somewhat easier than I know somebody is going to allow it to be . My pain comes from the fact no matter how much I try to reassure them of the love I have for them and that will never change , and that of my plans being put in place for contacting them, everything I can and should be doing ,will be sabotaged at every attempt . It`s already happening and I`m powerless to stop the pain..
I`ve tried to keep detail to a bare minimum The full story is by no means irrelevant , in fact , it`s very relevant , However this is not intended to be an account of my life history it is simply a Journal of my experiences and thoughts as I go Forth into the future that awaits me .. Names are all fictitious however the facts are the facts as happened .. I`m sorry for any unanswered questions I may have left you with . Thank you For Reading